


Clouds That Travel

by Ratt9



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Kissing, Awkwardness, Boss/Employee Relationship, Cute, Drama, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 13:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6154633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ratt9/pseuds/Ratt9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>L was the last person Matsuda would have expected to find on the roof watching the sunrise.</p><p>[*** Fluff ***]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clouds That Travel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stormygio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormygio/gifts).



> This was originally published on August 5, 2012. I heavily edited the last half of it today, but it's still pretty weird and I'll probably revise it a second time later this week. I'm also considering possibly writing another chapter, but I'm not sure whether I have the time yet. We'll see!

It was so early that the first rays of sunlight hadn't yet had a chance to slip through the cracks of Matsuda's blinds. The man's dreams still lingered in his thoughts, having just woken up. Despite the hour, Matsuda did not want to go back to sleep. For some inexplicable reason, he longed to feel the cool concrete beneath his feet and breathe in the scent of fresh air after last night's storm.

He walked the halls of the headquarters in the dark, passing by the solitary confinement cells on his way to the stairs as swiftly as possible. He didn't like to be reminded that Light, Misa, and the chief couldn't get any fresh air, as he was, because they were ordinary people who had gotten themselves tangled up in a mess that was between only L and Kira—two people who were beyond the ordinary, two people who looked back at the world and all of its people and were still as far away from it all as they could get.

Matsuda sometimes thought that L didn't belong in this world, that he was an isolated entity in his own right. He was always too clever, too unreal.

Matsuda didn't like dwelling on it much. Such thoughts always left him feeling cold.

As he opened the door to the roof, he was greeted just a heartbeat away from a figure standing against the railing, looking out at the city below, under the gradually lightening sky. As Matsuda drew closer, he saw that the figure was none other than L. When the man turned around, Matsuda could see that his dark eyes danced with the pursuit of secrets.

"Matsuda-san."

"Uh, hi, Ryuzaki." Matsuda came up to stand beside him, his hands on the railing. "What are you doing up here so early?"

"Light-kun is asleep," the man answered, as though it explained everything. "I felt I needed a short break. Watari is watching the cameras currently, so I came to see the sunrise."

"Ah, I see. Uhm, that's kind of the reason I'm here, too. I woke up."

"Yes, I can see that."

Matsuda scratched the back of his head,  staring out at the city as he tried not to let his embarrassment show. He always became so damn flustered and tongue-tied in L's presence. His habit of saying obvious things without thinking was never nearly as bad when he was talking to other people.

Matsuda was utterly fascinated by this brilliant man standing next to him, and that never failed to set his nerves on fire like a nuclear explosion. L was like a myth in flesh and blood—powerful, terrifying, and, in his own way, beautiful.

"Uhm...do you often look at the sunrise?" Matsuda asked, attempting to make a conversation. 

"No, not particularly," L mumbled, his voice in his usual low monotone. His eyes flickered to briefly glance at Matsuda, and the intensity of the detective's stare always seemed to weigh so heavy. "I don't exactly have an abundance of free time."

"Oh yeah, that's right."

Matsuda didn't have time to fumble for a response before L said, very quietly, "The more pollution there is, the more vibrant the sunrise. It's quite ironic. I cannot help but like the thought of something beautiful coming from something so ugly." He chewed on his fingernail and then added, in a mutter, "Not that I am one for sentimentality."

Matsuda blinked, thrown off-guard. Was L actually standing there talking to him about the beauty of a sunrise? Matsuda briefly wondered if L might just be using him in some sort of weird social experiment. He was normally all about cold hard facts and deductions, not...things like this.

"Yes I...do think that's ironic," Matsuda stumbled, his heart pounding irrationally fast. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. "Also...ahh...Ryuzaki can be as sentimental as he wishes. I mean...I don't mind."

L was silent, and Matsuda's face grew redder with each passing second. He hoped he hadn't said anything too weird, because that would be so embarrassing. Why did L always have to turn him into this awkward kind of person?

Eyeing him, L finally spoke. "Interesting."

"I-interesting?" Matsuda stammered, confused.

"Matsuda-san's honesty is interesting. It is...refreshing."

Matsuda once again didn't understand what on earth L was talking about. He had never really thought of himself in that way. "My...honesty?"

"Matsuda-san always says exactly what he is thinking. Everyone always can know exactly how he feels about things from his actions."

Matsuda liked it when L explained things to him, even if he still didn't understand. Of course, he understood what L was saying about him, but he had no idea why it would be considered a good thing. Anyone who was so transparent and easy to read sure wouldn't make a very good detective or police officer. Matsuda hoped that his obviousness might also have something to do with the way L could read virtually everyone very well. Even Light Yagami.

"You and Light always seem like you can understand each other, too," Matsuda commented, "and without even having to say things, like I do."

"Yes, that is correct." L's voice was sharp.

"Do you...still think that he's Kira?"

"Yes. I don't think that I could be wrong about that."

Matsuda deflated. He liked Light, too, and Light never struck him as the kind of person who could even be capable of such a thing as murder. He wished he could understand L's perspective a bit better.

"Isn't Light-kun your friend?"

L's eyes turned hard. "I...am unfamiliar with friendship, but, yes, Light-kun is a friend."

Right. But what kind of a friend would suspect the other of mass murder? Matsuda just didn't understand. If they were real friends, surely they would not always be down each others throats and starting fights, right?

Maybe any type of friendly relationship with L would be like finding love in the plaster of a wall—hard, guarded, and almost certainly impossible.

Maybe, Matsuda dared to consider, he was smarter even than L when it came to knowing how to treat people and have friends.

Maybe...maybe Matsuda could teach him.

By now, the sun was grazing the traveling clouds over the city, painting the world in vibrant colours, like a stained glass ceiling covering the entire sky. Down below, the idle passerby trod upon the wet pavement, bustling about their busy lives.

"Ryuzaki," Matsuda said, "I don't...I don't think you know what it's like to be close to someone."

L looked at him with an almost calculating expression, his head slightly tilted. "Yes...Matsuda-san is probably correct."

Matsuda blushed, hard, as he considered what he was about to say. Once he built up enough courage, he said, "You know, I mean. If—if you want, I could...I could show you. I could show you...how to be close to someone."

"And how would Matsuda-san propose to do that?"

"Have you...ever been in any kind of a relationship?"

Oh, god, Matsuda really hoped this plan wasn't about to backfire into something ridiculously inappropriate.

"No, I cannot say that I have."

Matsuda was only slightly surprised, though he supposed he shouldn't have even been that. L had, after all, said that Light was his first friend ever. Of course he would not have had any lovers.

That made Matsuda feel inexplicably sad, though he couldn't pinpoint the exact reason as to why. Sure, he admired L, but he didn't feel particularly close to him.

Close to him. Oh. How ironic.

"Well, when you're close to someone, it's usually okay to, uh, touch them, like...this..." With a deep breath, Matsuda hesitantly lifted L's hand from off the railing and cradled it in his own.

L stared at the hand Matsuda was holding, blinking. Shifting his feet, he stated, "I...see," before pulling his hand away.

"R-Ryuzaki! You can't be doing _that_!" Matsuda cried. Matsuda was trying to teach him something and L was definitely missing the entire point of it.

L blinked, and for once it was his face—not Matsuda's—that had confusion written all over it. The unspoken question hung in the air.

"I was holding your hand," Matsuda explained. "That's how you might treat a girl, or something. It's something people do when they're...you know. Close."

Close.

Matsuda was holding L's hand, but were _they_ close? He started to wonder whether this maybe couldn't even be considered a good example.

"I am aware of the custom," L said, "but I'm afraid I do not see the purpose of it."

"Well...I suppose people do it because it feels good."

L bit his finger. "It seems that feeling has eluded me. My hand feels mostly the same as it always does."

"Ryuzaki...that's not what I meant. I mean...it feels good inside."

Inside? No! Stupid choice of words. Bad Matsuda.

"There are also other things that people do to feel good around each other," Matsuda said quickly. L continued to stare at him as though he were a puzzle to figure out.

"Such as?" At this point, Matsuda was pretty sure L was only humouring him.

"You could...rub their shoulders," Matsuda suggested, but before he could try it, L spoke up.

"It is my understanding that emotions play a part in friendship and relationships. Matsuda-san is only focusing on the physical aspects."

Matsuda turned redder than the perpetual red he already was. "Th-that is true, but, the physical can make people feel, too. Sometimes, the physical can make people feel happy, or fuzzy. Sometimes, it can make people feel good. And close." Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. "Uhm...would you...let me try something, Ryuzaki?"

L turned his head to the side. "If you feel you must."

"Okay."

Matsuda took a nervous step toward L, and then brought his head in very close. Anxious anticipation dancing across every single one of his nerve endings, Matsuda hesitated for a few seconds before carefully planting his lips on the other man's neck and kissing him, gently.

L went completely still, save for his throat bobbing as he swallowed. Matsuda could feel it against his mouth, shaking his racing heartbeat out of control. For a split second Matsuda wondered if L was Kira for the way he felt he might just have a heart attack.

When Matsuda pulled away a few moments later, L's face looked almost pink. Was he...blushing?

"Oh," L said, eyes wide. He scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly, but the corner of his lips were curled very slightly upward in a way so subtle that Matsuda couldn't be sure he hadn't been imagining things. "Oh."

Ah, yes. That was definitely a blush. Matsuda was almost certain.

"I...believe I understand what Matsuda-san means, now."

"You—"

But, before Matsuda could finish his sentence, or even start it, L had already begun to walk away.

"Thank you, Matsuda-san, for teaching me," he said, "but, I must now return to my work."

And, without another word, he closed the door behind him.

Matsuda could only stand there feeling what was maybe a rare sense of accomplishment, however slight.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
